HEY EVERY !
IT'S ME,
SPAMTONG SPAMTON G SPAMTON G SPAMTON G SAMTON G SPAMTON G SPAMTON G SPAMTN G SPAMTON G SPAMTON G SPAMTON G
SPAMTON G SPMTON G SPAMTON G SPAMTON G SPAMTON G SPAMTON G SPAMTON G SPAMON G SPAMTONG SPAMTON G SPAMTON G
SPAMTON G SPAMTON!
UNLESS YOU’VE BEEN [LIVING UNDER A ROCK], YOU’VE [HEARD] OF ME BEFORE. I’M THE [BIG SHOT]. I’M THE [PIPIS] MAN. THE CUNGADERO GUY. I WAS ON THE [your advertisement here]. I WAS IN THE [MANSION]. I WAS. I WAS. I WAS. I WAS A BIG SHOT. NOW I’M.
I HAD [FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES]. I COULD ALWAYS [[PULL SOME STRINGS]] TO MAKE THINGS WORK. I COULD COLD CALL THE [Red phone]. EVERYONE KNOWS MY NAME. EVEN IF THEY DOn’T. THEN. THEN [That night, the double crosser got it right]. THOSE [BIG SHOTS] AT HQ KICKED ME OUT. WHAT THE [PHILIPS CD-i]! WHAT. WAS I NOT [BIG] ENOUGH FOR THEM?
JELOUSY IS A [BEPIS] EHAEHAEHAEHAEHAEH!!!!!1!
NOW I LIVE IN A.
FROM WHERE I’M [PRAYING] IT MUST SEEM LIKE AN [1997] [CARROT] RUN OF BAD LUCK. BUT THEN THINGS [loose change]. HEAVEN ANSWE RED MY PRAYERS. THE QUEEN GAVE ME MY [Big Break!] AND NOW I’M BACK ON TRACK!
STARTING WITH THIS [World Wide Web]! I’M [SELLING] ALL THE THINGS YOU [CUSTOMERS] [CRAVE].
F.A.Q
"what’s ur secret to being peak gender?"
WELL [valued customer], I CAN’T JUST SHARE MY [Secret formular].
BUT MAYBE I C4N GIVE YOU AN [exclusive interview] WITH [Trade Secrets].
I USE [21-in-1 SHAMPOO]
AND MADE A [DEAL] AT THE GENER STORE
AND IN A [Fortnite] I’LL SELL IT AT [DOUBLE THE VALUE] EHAEHAEHAEHAEHAEH!!!
"why the fuck is my bank calling me and telling me someones made two thousand dollars’ worth of purchases relating to “pipis” and “stilts” on MY debit card!?!?!?!?!?!??"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO
WAIT
YOU CAN [swear on your life]? HOW THE $!$! DID YOU DO THAT?!?!? WHAT!!!. I CAn’T DO THAT. [Show me your moves!] AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO THAT [someones] IS.
"What is a Pipis???"
MY [MALTESE FALCON], MY [MIRIDIA’S BEACON], MY. PIPIS!!! [Order now while supplies last]!
"Where is the secret page?"
[SHUT] YOUR HOLE. STOP LOOKING. THERE'S [nothing] THERE.
"how tall r u"
I’M # FEET TALL. LEAVE ME ALONE.
FINE! I’M DONE! IF YOU HAVE ANY MORE [horrid] QUESTIONS, [inquire inside!] WITH MY MANAGER.
